Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
