South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
high people should be assigned attendants
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
