She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
