Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize