it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
