my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
