This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
