She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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