on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
