I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
3 2 1 whiskey
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
