so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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