During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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