fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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