Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
