We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
