check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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