when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
