Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
