i permit you to call me
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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