You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Naked. naked and bneed help.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
