Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
