still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
