a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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