I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
