my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
