OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
