he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
