Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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