I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
