im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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