Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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