plz talk dirty to me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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