he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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