yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
