Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
