My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
