a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
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