Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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