I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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