margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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