somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
