Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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