and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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