Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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