he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Drunk is not a location!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
