so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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