Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
