Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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