i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
