ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
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all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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