after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
