one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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