a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
