i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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