did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
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this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize