You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
