Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
