I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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