She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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