I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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