The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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