How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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