Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize