Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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