White coat. Heels.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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