He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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