I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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