Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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