honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
